My teen friend sent the following question to me in a text message last week. I am attempting to answer it here…

“My friend has always been a good Christian but then she dated this guy. She never could get guys to like her and she started doing some sexual things with him. Now she will take anybody just because she wants love and attention and shes a very desperate girl. I think you should do a blog post about girls and how they should love themselves and not lower their standards.”

I can so relate to this question. I may be a granny now, but those years are burned into my mind because of the mistakes I made along the way.

I was the squeeky-clean goody-goody-two-shoes in high school, mostly because nobody asked me out. My dad was a former pastor and  a teacher in my high school. I was timid and lacking in confidence.

In college I was involved in a Christian group so with solid friendships to support me, I was able to keep my standards up when I finally started dating.

But things fell apart when I graduated without my MRS. degree. Even though I was past my teens, those desperate feelings were one and the same.

A major part of my downfall was that I didn’t have a strong faith. My trust in the Bible as God’s Word had been undermined with seeds of doubt that had been planted by my Christian group in college. They had taught that the Bible was full of errors. So I picked and chose what parts I wanted to believe – or rather listened to my friends in the hippie generation.

I got married during those five crazy upside-down years and soon learned that there was something worse than being single the rest of my life – and that was being caught in a miserable marriage. After trying hard for almost 20 years, that marriage eventually ended in divorce.

God never meant for marriage to be like that. Nor did he mean for me to be lonely. But I was looking in all the wrong places for love. I needed to fill the empty God-sized hole in my heart with Jesus and to take time to talk to him every day. I needed to learn to trust him to bring the right person into my life when I was ready for that kind of a relationship.

I hadn’t been ready. I was a mixed up kid – yes even past my teens – because I didn’t believe in myself. Jesus helped me to get my head on straight as I got into his Word and I saw myself through his eyes. I gained new confidence in what I could do, and my world began to make sense.

That probably doesn’t make sense to you if you’ve never tried searching God’s Word for answers. I only pray that you will try it for yourself. Trust God with your life if you want a life without regrets.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (NIV)

Lord, help us in our feeble ways to learn to trust you more every day. Give us the courage we need to stand up against peer pressure so that we may live lives that please you – lives with no regrets.

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